The film begins with portents of doom in the form of one of those little whiny kids in micro-shorts. This one has a lame-ass paddleboat sort of ... thing, and is out for a fun day at the rock quarry pond or something (well, it sure as hell ain't a nice beach) with his two gay parents. Well, I assume the part about the gay parents, but you gotta look at the evidence. No women anywhere in the film, two young good-looking guys in chest-revealing discoware out for a quaint picnic together at the lake. Like it or not, Godzilla Versus Megalon is an early crusading film teaching us that gay parenting is really no different or less healthy than hetero parenting, so lighten up. The children of gay couples will be just as screwed up and trigger-happy as the rest of the country's teenagers.

An earthquake suddenly hits, cracking the ground open. It turns out that the undersea kingdom of Seatopia is pissed off because man has destroyed most of their civilization with undersea atomic testing (you see a trend yet?). Meanwhile a scientist creates a robot called Jet Jaguar. That sounds cool. Jet Jaguar. Jet Jaguar. ... HUH? Oh yeah. Sorry about that. Anyways The Seatopians send Megalon (a gigantic cockaroacha) to Tokyo to get their revenge on Mankind. Oh yeah they get control of Jet Jaguar and use him to guide Megalon to Tokyo. Jet Jaguar. Jet Jaguar. ::FWAP!:: Oops!

Somehow our hapless heroes regain control of Jet Jaguar. Damn, that sounds so cool! Jet Jaguar. eh-hem... And send him to Monster Island to fetch Godzilla. He fills Godzilla in by using hand signals and they both run to save Tokyo from Megalon. Jet Jaguar grows to Godzilla size to help out. Gigan appears from somewhere to help Megalon and the shinanigans start. Oh and you just have to see the famous Godzilla tail slide!

If you like professional wrestling then the tag team antics of this movie ought to keep you amused.

Experiment #212 (1/19/91)